Paying for a Wedding

I entered into this business partially because it pained me to see couples fret over money when planning a wedding. You've heard me say it before, the absolute first thing you should do when planning your wedding is map out your budget (with realistic numbers, not just guesses of what you want to spend on each category). That being said, here are some general tips for figuring out both who pays for what and how much total you have to spend:

*It really is a grab bag when it comes down to who pays for the wedding. It may be the couple, the bride's parents, the groom's parents, or other close family members contributing to the budget. As many couples today wait until they are established in their careers before getting married, they are chipping in more and more. Also, with the economy being the way it is, I tend to see more and more 'group' contributions where each involved party contributes what they can. The days of set percentages or 'traditional' contributions are quickly becoming a thing of the past.

*Have an open and honest conversation with both families before planning anything. Know how much each person is willing to contribute financially and when. Be up front about the fact that you, the couple, will have to decide the final guest list and that budgetary constraints may limit who can be invited. If the groom's side of the guest list is 3x more people than the bride's but the budget doesn't have any room to budge, then you will have to stick to family and your closest of friends. Be realistic, and be clear with everyone from the start that while you would like to include as many people as possible, you may need to make it a more intimate affair. Being honest and upfront will save you many headaches down the road.

Are you wondering how much you should save for your wedding? Money shouldn't be the determining factor as to when you get married. Truly, all you need is enough for a marriage license. A wedding is about a lifetime commitment and not about a single day. Keep that focus in mind and it will take you a long way. I've seen beautiful weddings for under $10k. I've also seen so, so weddings where the couple has spent more than 3x that amount.

A wedding should never put you in debt or add to your debt. If you can't make your credit card payments in full each month or are not meeting other debt obligations, then you shouldn't be shelling out a bunch of money for your wedding. When it comes to things like saving for your first home, it is really a case by case basis depending on what your goals are and what stage of life you are in.

Some of this advice might be hard to swallow. Just remember, your wedding will last one day. Your marraige is a lifetime investment.

Cheers,